** HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE **

Both look stupid in hats.
Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting. 
Both tend to have "hip" problems. 
Neither understand football. 
Both look good in a fur coat. 
Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say. 
Neither believe that silence is golden. 
Both constantly want back rubs. 
Neither can balance a checkbook. 
You can never tell what either of them is thinking. 
Both put too much value on kissing.